Well, it’s August of 2016, and that means two things: One, Mitt Romney is running for president yet AGAIN, and two, the Olympics are just finishing up in Rio De Janeiro. I’m glad for all of you who survived the Great Sandstorm of 2014 and are still alive to read my blog posts. It seems as though it’s been a good four years since I last wrote one. Things have just been crazy busy for me.
I invested all my money in that billion dollar Mike Tyson pyramid scheme you’ve all seen on the news. Looking back now, yeah, not such a great idea. But they say hindsight’s 20-20. Between that and the new sun tax, well it’s been rough to say the least. I almost had to cancel my subscription to Netflix. I’m glad it didn’t come to that. Because I’d just die if I missed season 2 of Discovery’s “Moon Loggers” . In the season premiere, Bobby gets a skidder stuck in a crater and … well, you’ll just have to watch and see what happens.
Anyway, like most of you, I watched the Games of the XXXI Olympiad. We saw some awesome examples of human spirit triumphing … over the robots, like when Usain Bolt outran Racing Unit 3.0078N in the 100-meter dash. For all of the time and money spent, Nike is still unable to develop a dependable Running Unit that can medal any higher than silver. The door is wide open. I’m talking to you Adidas.
We also saw our old friend Michael Phelps retire and subsequently unretire 12 times in the past four years. He really “Favred” things up for the U. S. team (can you believe it has been six years and we still use that word to describe someone whose indecision holds an entire organization hostage?). But Phelps knocked us dead again with another eight gold medals. It’s just too bad they were all for Team Canada. He really “Favred” the United States (can you believe Webster’s approved that word to have a second meaning of someone who claims they are finished, only to find a second wind with another team and defeat his prior team?).
U. S. A. basketball managed another gold with what is being called the “Scheme Team” for all of the doping allegations. I, personally, am not convinced, but it does explain a near 54-year-old Michael Jordan coming back to dominate in the tournament and win another gold medal. Moving on to the highlight of the 2016 games, FOOTBALL! It only took four years to get the sport into the Olympics after NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell hinted that was what he wanted. Some late-night negotiations led to the International Olympic Committee to decide to kick-off the sport this year.
It was, no doubt, entertaining to watch Team China struggle to figure out how to stop Russia’s ground game. And it was even more comical to watch Team Australia get burned time and time again with their scrums. The Aussies gave up a lot of uncontested points before they realized it wasn’t rugby. But, for my money, I loved watching Aaron Rodgers drop perfect spirals over the Team Germany secondary, Adrian Peterson run over Japanese linebackers literally half his size and Patrick Willis actually convince Italy to quit. And who can forget Ray Rice rushing for 350 yards in the gold medal game to seal victory over Great Britian? For a while, I was worried the United States would not cover the 70-and-a-half-point spread, but that Tim Tebow shirtless two-point conversion in the rain that made it 71-0 nixed those concerns.
These 2016 games were the best ever. Football is a wonderful addition and another guaranteed gold for the United States every four years. I’m really glad we started this dicussion about adding football to the Olympics back in 2012 after the London games. Hopefully we keep football for the next go around and even add some more sports, like baseball, which is curiously absent at this point. So I hope you all make it through Earth’s impending pole shift next winter and on to the Summer of 2020 … I know Mitt Romney will be there.